What is it with today’s chefs? They don’t seem to be content with merely rustling up tasty meals these days, no they want to be philosophers, artists, campaigners and politicians. Jamie Oliver is perhaps the most arrogant and obvious example of this new wave of chefs on a mission.
Ever since his ‘crusade’ to replace turkey twizzlers with organic carrots as part of school dinners, Jamie (he only needs one name) – the nation’s favourite Mockney – now sees himself as some kind of mealy mouthed messiah. For someone who has based his entire career upon being a pretend prole, all dropped H’s and lavvly jabbly and geezer this and fellar that, he don’t arf talk some ‘potato blight’ . In fact his whole shtick reminds me of another posh boy pretending to be a Cockney on the make; Bish, bash, bosh! Loads-a-moneyyyyyy!
It’s all a pretence of course as Jamie’s very far away from the humble Essex pub landlord’s son he cracks on to be. But that doesn’t stop Jamie from having a pop at poor people, oh no. Jamie’s ‘spent a lot of time in poor communities. ’ Apparently, in these poor communities that Jamie’s spent so much time in, mums feed their offspring ‘cheese and chips from Styrofoam containers’ whilst watching a ‘massive fucking tv.’
This kind of ‘modern day poverty’ just doesn’t add up to Jamie. That’s to say, it isn’t poverty at all, not like old skool poverty; kids dying of rickets, no fancy tellys and take away food, just the workhouse, jellied eels, gin and er, TB. Blimey Guv, aint you never seen Oliver? Poverty looks so glamorous and fun!
But Jamie’s ‘not judgemental.’ Nah, tarring every ‘modern poor person’ with the same plasma screen poverty brush isn’t being prejudiced because it’s based on FACT. Poor people eat shit and watch shit. They eat ‘convenience food’ unlike the middle classes who zap a M&S ready meal and swig a bottle of 12 quid rioja after a hard day’s graft in the…..wherever it is middle class people work these days.
Now Jamie has many supporters in high places. People who don’t see him as a self-publicising , greedy, narcissist with delusions of grandeur but a genuine ‘guy’ who’s only concern is the health of our children. He is courted by politicians and populists desperate for some of that cheeky, down-to-earth Jamie magic to rub off on their grey pragmatism.
Yet perhaps what Jamie and his culinary cabal don’t fully understand is that the poor are not a lumpen mass of couch potatoes shovelling cheesy chips into their mushes whilst watching Jeremy Kyle on 43 inch 3D tellies bought from a 3000% interest loan from Easydebt. No, that’s some of them, we agree on that, just as some posh people go out to ‘dinner’ every night to avoid cooking their own fucking tea and go to the theatre to watch state subsidised orchestras whilst living off tax free legacies from their slave owning ancestors.
Is that judgemental? Of course it is but I AM judgemental and I AM prejudiced. I’m prejudiced against people like Jamie Oliver, who should take the advice of the star of reality TV show, The Adelphi Hotel’s head waiter when confronted with another puff pastry potentate “just cook will yer?”